Day 5. I miss you.

1. Its easy to say things but doing them is another.
2. Tomorrow is no guarantee
These are the fundamental truths that I will teach my kids from now on.

I miss you. I miss you a lot. I miss those eyes that looks at me so true. The kiss that excites me, the voice that reminds and calms me, the messages that makes me smile. And above all, I miss that intimate time when were together, and the dreams of tomorrow we share afterwards

I wanted to reach out. I wanted to call you. but that's selfish. Let her move on with her own life, and have you find your true knight. The one that is better than me. And if I realized I'm are ready for what you deserve, I will fight a good fight for you, without hesitation, without doubt, without fear..

I dread at that thought of you doing this alone. I should be at your side. I should be fighting with you, and never against you.  I just miss you. take care of your self. take care of what we have.

Day 1

Its not often that you get to a point where you have to act like a Man. the words I love you is often thrown around. I have used it many times and dread at the realization that it means nothing 14 years later. The truth is, words have no meaning, Action does.

So this is day one. Day one that I lost everything. Those 14 years, and the two souls that brought joy defined me. Day one of acceptance, the pain that is in tomorrow. of loneliness, sacrifice and perhaps regret.. Just to show someone, I love her with all my heart. There are no guarantees that she feels the same way. Only her actions can say. 

So I will live a life of hope and anticipation. That tomorrow she sees I'm ready. There are no guarantees and I don't have too many. More than words but action, please love me. 

Ikaw Na Ang Malinis..

Whoos ikaw na ang malinis.. kami na ang madumi..

My friends swipe on me after having some joke regarding a match making app...
That hurts..

It hurts because they are my friends and I love them
It hurts because they could see me as someone who is pretending to be righteous.
or maybe they see me as genuinely righteous and there is a gap between us. 
Whatever it is, it hurts because its not true.

Yes, I do my best to present this body holy and acceptable to God which is my reasonable service. Yes I try my best to conform to what is morally right. But I am human, and at the end of the day, isa din ako sa madumi..

To understand this conclusion we have take a look at how the bible defines SIN. The closets translation of SIN is "TO MISS". If you think of it, this is an excellent translation. 

With that in mind, I examine myself:
Laugh at green jokes, -missed the mark
Ignore a colleague  that needs help. -missed the mark
Gave a double glance on a curvatious stranger - missed the mark
Gave a harsh response (mang asar, sakat, or magpahiya) again, missed the mark.
How about corrupt communication, or an angry answer? Yep i think that's included.. missed the mark.

Missing the mark set by the high standard of God falls into SIN. In the eyes of God, there is no severity for sin.. if you missed the mark, that's it. And at the end of everyday, as I look back on how I behave, I get reminded on how I miss the mark.. And more importantly, I get reminded of what Christ did on the cross. How he paid for everything.. That no matter how dirty my hands, and mouth is, He already bought it with His life.All you have to do is believe on Him.

Don't be mistaken, what He did on the cross is not a free pass to indulge on what we want. It's a testimony of His love. Once you understand that love, its like a fire that will consume you to respond and reciprocate. Not because you want to be righteous(nagmamalinis), but because of Love. :D Gal 5:13-14